Friday, April 17, 2015

Core

The War Without, changing shade
From bloodied fist to strengthened blade.
By my own sweat comes defeated aim-
Friend... foe... we are the same.

I turn my head. One Dream failed-
Another turn. Dream Two jailed.
Turn from both, Third Dream fled,
All locked up inside my head.

Look down 'pon feet, Dream Four lost
In frigid waters.  I count the cost.
Drenched, submerged, carried downstream.
My ruined, waterlogged, shredded Fourth Dream.

Soaring, flying, aspiring Dream Five.
One more bid to keep hope alive.
Wings of the fledgling upwardly strive
Begging my Father that in Heav'n I'll arrive.
Praying ne'er again to take such a dive.
Nor e'er be trapped in stingers' hive.

Wars Within, volatile more
Than War Without.
Deeper, far sharper pain stored.
Strategic retreat now panicked rout.
Every which way I choose to turn,
Enemy's victory only can I discern.
When shall we learn
What we were sent forth to learn?

Drawing Self deeper, far deeper, more,
Into my embattled, invincible core.
Knowing not safety but what be found here
All strength, all of all, into core-free-of-fear.
Feeling Hope, herself, drawing near.
Feeling Faith, Hope's sister, also drop tear.
Feeling Charity's desire to help me
Return out from in, and relearn to be free.

Wars Within a hard outer shell,
Keeping in all that is in,
Reviewing lessons from when I fell
Whilst I do all I can to let go of sin
Shell slowly growing thin-
Defense I'm losing. How can I win?
From the dregs of a deepening well,
How can I quell all these Wars Within?

Weakened blade... bloodied fist...
Broken spirit... shattered wrist...
Hope, Faith, and Charity
Wishing me, my path, to see...
Wishing me walk myself free...
Core now Home-To-All-Of-Me...
How do I explain
To Hope, Faith, and Charity,
Now reaching their hands out to me?
How do I take them?
How do I heed
Their want to help me
Be truly freed?
How can one such as me, shattered,
Broken, beaten bloody,
Weakened, battered to a shadow,
Accept aid from three pure souls like these?

But though my belief be naught but wish,
Tis enough to start. I begin to raise a hand.
I feel a glimmer in my heart of what I ever feel
When 'fore tempest's rage I stand.
A desire to conquer, rise above what's said,
To push through anguish by which I've bled.
How long it takes, I do not know,
But when hand, wrist, forearm, and arm I've raised all I can,
Faith takes my hand, pulls my arm round her shoulder.
Hope takes my other, though growing colder,
And also throws it round her shoulder.
Charity now leads the way
Out of my core, where I thought I would stay.

War Within ends by kindness and love.
Perhaps peace, inner and out, go hand-in-glove.
Though maybe twill take longer
Hope, Faith, and Charity's influence
Only gets stronger.
Retaught to grow, feel, and see...
Maybe they can help others like me
Out of their darkness, and help them be free.

beatingheart2

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