Soul-Joy

Now tis as though I'm holding on to naught for which I've fought.
The ashes of my dreamwork... the wonders that were wrought...
By the Why in which I go to reach my distant goal
As Wretched Loss and Cherished Joy each play a vital role.

I had every blessed Soul-Joy.  Mine, each and every one.
But I knew not how I gained them, nor did I know just how I'd won.
How blessed I really was I did not understand
Until I felt my un-felt treasures slip out of my hands.

Support from friends uncounted, yet each one I felt.
Wounds unmeasured made to heal, balm to every welt.
No gain from pain unappreciated, I knew at last the worth.
Humor felt once again, I remembered my lost mirth.

Each of these my treasures, none of them the last.
Now they are returning.  My joy is not forever past.
I begin again to look and see the others living round-
To smell the air, and feel sun's ray... to hear the sweetest sound.

Tis the sound of what's outside, not what through the glass I see.
It is the sound of real life, the life outside of me.
Not by my own wish did the miracle come about.
Call it blessing, call it grace.  I learn again beauty without.

Without this blessed Soul-Joy, the fight cannot reward.
Without the Soul-Depth from pain, Soul-Joy I can't afford.
Without the bitter struggle by which I feel real pain,
Joy cannot ever be captured to understand true gain.

And so I take the struggle, that teaches me how to discern.
I turn it to blessed Soul-Joy. Both Loss and Joy have helped me learn.