Deepest Wish

I walk to the edge.  I look all around.
Wind on this cliff's height.
I have not will to make a sound.
My muscles, lungs... heart... so tight.

I walk to the edge.  I look left and right.
Motored metal roaring past.
The darkest tunnel.  I see a light.
It draws nearer, coming at last.

I walk to the edge.  In a garage.
Motored metal, quiet, here.
Key in my pocket, safety's mirage.
Door shut, fume-danger so near.

I walk to the edge.  In hospital cell,
Forehead strikes the wall.
Here after months and years of hell.
"Stop," comes the intercom's call.

I walk to the edge.  Throat forms a lump.
I've stayed off my meds so long.
On back of my head, a long, scar-ish bump.
I was called to this.  They think me wrong.

I walk to the edge.  Tears streak my face.
I've no desire to stay on.
Stay on, I will, in this Journey-Not-Race.
My strength, my vision, gone.

I walk to the edge, many others behind,
Begging me to come back.
I have, on all levels, lost my pained mind.
But peace I, still, so lack.

I walk to the edge.  I turn away,
Knowing tis not the right.
Many may beg me stay,
But I walk by my own sight.

I walk from the edge, seeing you as you come,
Wanting what I have, too.
I know your thought far better that some.
I've another thought for you.

If you walk to that edge and keep on walking,
It will not be your end.
There is life after this life, but what kind?
It depends.

If you take this life and choose to snuff it out,
However miserable you may be,
You'll be far more miserable,
Having harmed your eternity.

I know this.  I know misery.
I've hurt in hell, too.
Find a reason to keep living.  This is
My Deepest Wish For You.

Adam Scott Campbell