Fly Through The Storm

Sometimes I feel I'm doing alright.  Like my feet are finally set on the right path for me.  The path that will bring me greatest happiness, at the end and on my way there.  Sometimes I like what I feel.

Sometimes a natural disaster occurs right in the middle of my path.  I can be watching it happen.  It can happen to the spot I'm standing on.  

I can feel every bit of it.  I can bow my head and let the misery wash over me.  I can walk into the disaster, and reach out to others.  I can save lives with a word, or a hug.  I can help.

I can numb myself to the pain.  I can step outside myself and bypass my life for a while.  And when I return, people are hurt, and I'm standing here wondering how I can help when I cannot empathize.

It ought to be an easy choice for me.  It ought to be.  Yet so often I numb myself in self defense. When I don't, lives are touched, I can see clearly, and the hurt is felt to my core.

Much is stored here.  I know so little next to many others.  But I know enough to get up when I fall.  I just fear that others are pulled down with me in my falling.  That hurts worse, watching it happen.

I know enough to understand that you fall, too, that it hurts for you, too.  Maybe you are like me.  Maybe you get sick of falling, and sick of struggling back up again.  Maybe you wish to fly.

I do, too.

This body wherein my spirit dwells has been through a few things.  Relearning to walk is an adventure I've undertaken many times over.  The thought of flying with it is enticing.

Flying with my mind is even more so.

Flying with my spirit has proven to be the most difficult.  Believing in someone else is far easier than believing in myself.  Something I work on, by pushing forward however often I stumble or fall.

I will teach myself to fly through the storm.  It may take a little while.

We're getting there.

Adam Scott Campbell